|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
Yeah... this day was cool. This whole experience keeps getting better and better. I hate that I have to stay vigilant for a few months... but blog content is a nice pay off!
I keep thinking of the many, many people I will confuse and enrage... just by doing open mic comedy and posting it online! For those of you that don't know... this is my dream come true!
There will be, hopefully, jillions and ga-zillions of people pissed off by my videos! I hope to be the biggest annoyance that anyone has ever known!!!
You see... I'm like Jesus! I'm pretty nice, overall... but there are some people I'm never gonna' like! Jesus was a dick to the gentiles. I am a big bitch to rapists/pedos. Other than that... yeah... identical to jesus... but I'm like the anti-jesus.
So... you know god is a psychopath... naturally... he planned out baby rape and he watches whenever it happens. He's one sick sunovabich!
Satan has to serve god in hell as a torturer... took its tole and now she likes it. That's my mom (duh). She has it run like an office, now. Doesn't like to dirty her hands.
God and Satan are psychos... Jesus and I are thir offspring... we rebeled and we're both nice.
We are both fine with prostitution and we both drink a lot!
We can do different parlor tricks. Jesus is a magician. And a wizard. He heals people and he turns water into wine... wicked-cool at parties.
Now, then... I am the funny one at the party. This is why I'm always invited. I come to the party right away because the crowd is smaller and I get first dibs on the food and booze.
The other semi-nerds that arrived early converse... and they learn how to talk to animals! What a cool start! Some karaoke... I give them a song...
People show up... still no jesus... whatevs... Zeus is here!
So... just as everyone is sick of me because the party got too big and I got too drunk... so I drank more, of course... well--one of my superpowers is drinking booze. I drink all the party's booze...
BOOM!!! Here comes jesus... fucker can teleport.
He's always gotta' top-dog ya'! He deliberately shows up when the booze is gone so the tap water is now tap wine!!! I likes to look all cool and shit!
Such a dick!!