|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
But I'd just lost weight, so I thought I'd go for pretty... just because I was going out and being on stage stand up after years of not going to open mic (I'd visited LA in the past and did some stand up... but only a few times).
I knew I could do stand up because my second open mic, ever, was a set for Dee Wright. She had an open mic on Crenshaw. Being from Minnesota... I didn't have any idea of Crenshaw. Sounded like a street.
Well... that's the 'hood. Didn't know that. I managed to find someone to drive me. It was a black dude... oddly... that I'd never met. Yeah. I'm weird like that. If someone tells me "I can't bring you, but somebody else will..." I assure you, I have no problem with that.
Well... It was an all black audience. What's more? I wanted to wear a tight shirt... so I wore a shirt that said, "I dig scrawny, pale guys." A gift from my sister years ago. YEAH. Killed it. Despite being the only white person in the room with a shirt that would EASILY be described, in that situation, as offensive.
I've only had two crash and burns. Luckily... I was smart enough to use the same set the second time when I anticipated it being a crash thanks to assholes. Although... the second time I used my "crash and burn" set... which was the first set I ever did stand up... Gary Sugarman was watching... and he liked it (HE'S FUCKING AMAZING).
anyway... Dee told me in 2008 that I needed to do this. She and her sister, Ramona Stevens, made me feel welcome in Crenshaw... for an all black audience... listen... I don't actually think anything about myself other than: "I'm me." Truly.
My point; this is ALL mapped out, folks! A year ago... when I did my first set in... years... looking all pretty... when I went to Amersterdam Cafe... DAMN!
When I entered the place... excited; smiling... Happy to be doing stand up, again... ALL EYES WERE ON ME! ALL of them! Women and men, alike. No matter WHO the comedian... One of the people LEERING at me was the chick that played the girl with the dead tooth in "It's Sunny In Philadelphia..."
I felt uncomfortable after a bit. Because EVERYONE was saying dirty shit and STARING at me! I tested this shit out... went to different parts of the room because I felt uncomfortable. THEY ALL WERE LOOKING AT ME AND THINKING OF SEX! All of them...
When I got home; I said to my husband, "This is going to take a year."
Here we are... Not quite a year later... and the flicker is starting! It will turn into a flame! This will go ALL OVER THE WORLD!!! THE WHOLE WORLD WANTS TO BE FREE!
I know what psychologically plagues you... practically upon sight! I know the cure for mental illness--which is evident in every face I see on the street. I can talk to animals, now. Listen... that's cool. I don't care if you don't think I can... there's a wikihow on how to read dogs and I got it spot on except for one thing. (that wikihow was compiled by 32 people... I only missed one thing)... 2 b cont...