|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
Yes... I feel like my delusions of reality, lately, are overcoming me. Mentally. But--it's doing wonders for my comedy. I had to care for a puppy for a few hours, yesterday.
It was some sweet chill/fun time. This puppy had trouble distinguishing between biting and kissing and often blended the two together. I was giving puppy lessons in biting vs. kissing.
The puppy would get it--and then I would get excited for it--and then she would mix them up, again, and bite me in the face. She's a chihuahua puppy so there's no facial damage, I assure you (not that I would be upset over a dog maul in the face, sometimes).
Today I wanted to hunt down the mysterious and highly celebrated Sonny whilst also gathering rape statistics. However--I was hassled in the area with my husband present a few months ago... AND my last visit to a beach included the attention of two unsavory individuals (to put it mildly)... So I chickened out.
I wanted a friend to go with. I asked a comedian to come with me that I've really wanted to spend time with. Just to talk, really. But she has a lot of trouble with the bears, too. She made a thousand excuses...
Look, sweety, I know why you really don't want to do it. You're neurotic like a lot of cuties. It's not your fault. You're not making it up. You're just going nuts because you always have to be viligant.
So... I was faced with the task of trying to get rape stats on my own. I couldn't. I knew I couldn't... and then it was like... fuck looking for Sonny, too. I'm going to have to look for her for days, probably!
That's why I'm mad at a different person. This person was, unfortunately, my link to Sonny. He, for whatever reason, absolutely will not get me into contact with her. I did a rage set at her birthday party. It was the first one I ever did...
It started off: "I friended a fundamentalist christian on facebook 'cuz IIIIIIIIIIII-UUUUHHHHHH-IIIII wanted a FIGHT... AND NOW I'M READY TO COMMIT MURDER!"
I was pretty proud of it :) Sonny had, unfortunately, passed out. She wanted to see the set most of all. She was really fucking angry on her birthday. I'm always happy when people show up for my parties... she was extremely drunk, though.
This guy, Animal (it was a party with a hippie/bohemian/hipster/emo vibe to it... I fit right in with my tattered cats and skulls red SWEATSHIRT... Sonny called me red jacket) said that the performance was amazing. They were cheering for me :) Pretty much the whole time I was up there :)
My friend that brought me to the party has done everything he can think of to dance around hanging out with these people... Why? Because I impress people. Not him.
What's worse... he uses me as free therapy sessions... fine; I'm happy to help (really). Somewhat expected for me to just offer an hour of time every night just because he likes to talk to weird people and he's lonely.
When we went to open mics together, he acted like he was the best one there (and he very much never is and certainly wasn't that night). But he would want to seperate from everyone else... always.
I like smoking weed and talking to the comedians outside clubs. It's one of the best parts about going. But the dude hates everyone else. I get why; they always make fun of him.
He liked hearing me talk about reading the messages. He always called me a "conspiracy theorist." Here's the deal about that:
My brother and I are genius assholes about stupid people... those I refer to as "lemmings" ('cuz you can convince them to kill themselves)... not usually to their faces unless the person acts up (well--I can only speak for myself... my bro has very, very, very rude in-your-face tactics that I've seen). Anyway... he and I read conspiracy theories just to laugh at idiots.
There are so many retarded conspiracy theories! If you are on a superiority down... and you need a pick me up... google "conspiracy theories" and click next page seven times or so and pick a random web site and prepare some glorious nimrodery!
It's not just that most of the theories are completely insane! Many of them are also written very poorly! So you can make fun of the stupidity on many different levels! The sites usually are put together in dumb ways, too... Like the whole site has nothing but dumbass ambiance about it everywhere you glance.
But when I awoke from the emotion-dormant state of mental illness... even for the short time I'd managed to accidentally achieve it... all of the little files that had been housing those scattered fragments of information that had made me that ace watching quiz shows and on trivia teams in bars started flying into place at fantastical speeds!
In group therapy I explained it like someone whacked me over the head with a bat and that made my brain sort of reset. This... phenomenon?... lasted for roughly 36 hours. A complete head rush. The coolest thing I'd ever experienced.
Those years of studying the mind finally all made sense... the dream I'd had since childhood, of unlocking the secrets of the human brain... I'd finally done it!!!
I knew the minute I did it that I would regret it right away. My brain didn't stop at mapping itself out and showing me where all the little nerve endings went and what that meant... it also went to the trouble of solving the nagging little question... about that one conspiracy theory that both my brother and I had stumbled upon that actually made sense.
My bro was always convinced about the illuminati. I always saw it as plausible. But I always also thought it was probably a lot more hyped up than it deserved to be. But this is coming from an arrogant autistic person that mastered human manipulation as a child playing mind games at school with the dumb little kids that always picked on me. No matter how well you manage to control someone... rest assured--no one has ever done it better than I can. I just choose not to out of principle. The main reason I became a virtuoso in computer program efficiency instead of becoming a virtuoso hacker like Julian Assange. There was never the evil delight to snoop around where I might get killed.
I'd had a gun to my head at 16 trying to get weed, once. I freaked the guy out holding the gun. The other kids were scared. I had a death wish... so I didn't care. The guy was so shaken that I didn't care. I felt so powerful.
My brain showed me the messaging systems. We all know and use them. There are many. Tv, radio, religion, school, work, ads, web sites, newspapers... you get it. Those are the messaging systems. There are a few avenues people openly, daily use that actually connect our waking conscious. There is no need for an internal chip when everyone chooses to plug right in. My brain showed me phase one.
I'd painstakingly devised phase two--the money system part--years prior. The research was the painstaking part. Once I knew the system--I just remembered a few helpful things other people had used for other, more localized, commerce--and with a little combo devised a way to open up unlimited job creation with heavy community involvement. That system incorporates many aspects of living that promote happiness.
When overall happiness reaches a certain amount... meaning, when most people are happy, then the globe will get cleaned up because everyone will drop what they're doing to make money saving the planet. They'll drop corporate like a light because they won't be getting paid there... but they'll be paid to save the world. And the will have a fun time doing so.
This is why everyone is frustrating me!
So the guy calls me a conspiracy theorist again. Just as the many times I'd told him, previously, that he either didn't remember or just ignored; I'm not going by that stupid theory. I'm looking directly at all of the messages that I come into contact with on a daily basis versus all of these mediums and their messages that I've seen over the course of my life versus newspaper articles and science studies and statistics; compare that shit to history and you can CLEARLY see that a consortium of rapists is controlling us.
Listen, dude... I don't expect you to figure that all out in your head as I did. I'm arrogant enough to say that it was a clever little trick. But what's the point of keeping me all to yourself because you love hearing a crazy person rattle on and then you never bother to pay attention to what the crazy person says???
You think I haven't spoken to crazy people?