|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
yeah...this time he was about to get to my arm when I was sitting in the chair smoking weed!
I got out of the chair to square off with the little fucker!
"You're stalking me!!! I bet you're a dude!!! You are crazy, bitch!!!"
The spider made a threatening stance with its feet in the air.
"Oh... I'm not even scared of you!"
I smoked the fucker out... he was a jumper... when he was nice and slow... I kicked the chair. He clung as hard as he could... then I burned his line... then I steadied my foot over his sedated body... stepped... and slid my foot.
Now... he was a moisture mark on the patio.
I couldn't believe a jumping spider studied my smoking habits enough to try and attack me. What a crazy thing for a spider to do!
Why do I say that? Well... I'm a spider geek! I know all about different types of spider behaviors! Jumping spiders avoid humans!
I saw another peculiar jumping spider in the front yard... I saw it in stalking mode... but it seemed WAY too big for the little bugs nearby...
I saw nothing but picnic ants and one lonely, itty-bitty beetle. I figured the beetle was just too small for such a big jumping spider... no. It was like an hors d'ourves for the thing.
I also found a big black widow spider in the house. It's not that weird... but black widow spiders don't like to go inside humans' houses.
I took a look at the yard, again... all of those spiderwebs were abandoned... there were barely any bugs anywhere. The grass was practically all dead. The big tree is alive... but I think it takes water from neighboring yards and I think it also drinks condensation, every night.
We see a few spiders... but usually small ones... picnic ants... and flies. I just don't see much else.
I think the spider was stalking me because it was hungry and didn't think to migrate to a neighboring yard. Or was never high enough to notice the neighboring yards with gardens and such.
That's a prime example of what kind of desperation a starving creature can be pushed to! Suicidal methods to eat something!
Think about it...
no water=no food.
Let's solve this problem!