|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
Here are "the highlights" of the whole gang thing before we go into talking to dogs, again.
I camped in my garage after two people spotted the guy I thought was watching me. When I confronted the man, he acted nervous and I haven't seen him, since. There was another young man that trailed me that stared down... who responded by cowering... which made no sense to me unless I was his target.
Sitting in the garage... in the back, in a chair... blending in with the scenery--also in the shadow--I saw about four different types of cars that went by. Cars would go by about three times per hour. They weren't in any order. But they looked like all the same cars.
These were cars that didn't belong on the street that didn't appear to have a need to drive down the street. I was going to try and think of a way to set up my digital camera and document this... and that's when one of the men in the cars popped his head slightly out the window and seemed to look right at me.
Immediately... the cars stopped driving by. They stopped for a few hours. The home owner arrived and made fun of me for being paranoid. I started to explain why I was...
I told him the description of the car I think the main guy drives. I told him that after I was spotted talking to my neighbor... the car changed to a similar make and model and color of cars a few people nearby drive.
As I walked out to the edge of the garage... I looked at the corner... and there it was... right where my finger was pointing...
OF COURSE!!! When I said, "There it is..." he walked over... but he wasn't fast enough to see it. So I looked over to the other corner...
"I see what they're doin'! They can see the house from the corners... they never need to go down the street!"
Once I figured that out... everytime I stood at the edge of the garage and I saw one of the suspicious cars at one corner... I just turned my head and waited until they drove down the next street over and passed the other corner. Every... single... time. Multiple times per hour.
That's right! About four different cars... for absolutely no good reason, I can think of, drive around my street... stopping at both corners.
...Does that make sense to you? Would you classify that as bizarre???
When I spotted the vehicle I figured I would be ambushed with... that's when the sign went up. 'Cuz... I went looking for those guys when I saw that vehicle behaving that same way.
...I was wearing a tight, red dress... Because that's their color (they own it, so they say). My husband followed me a ways back with a camera ready. Those dbags were no where to be found!
Granted... when I say I looked like a bitch... I probably mean to say... I looked like a BEAST. Because I had their boss-man's posture and my own version of Willem-Dafoe-Scary-Face on. I guess I'm not surprised they wouldn't approach.
Well... there I was in a pickle. You have to confront the fuckers! You have to tell them to leave you alone! So... we went back home...
Two diff mexican/hispanic/latino (I don't know the difference and I'm really, really sorry) tried to pick me up while I was walking around, though. Both times were pretty funny!
The first was one of the people that drives a similar car to the guy I was looking for... The moment he saw me, while he was rounding the corner...
...he screeched, practically, to a stop! So I was like, "YES, Motherfucker! You are DONE, NOW! " inside my head...
...I very aggresively look into the car, my seriously demented/enraged face on...
...two dudes were in that car. They both look really frightened! Putting their hands up and making quiet, "ahhh" noises!
My thoughts? "DAMN IT!!! MEXICANS!!! "
...then I thought, "that sounded racist." to which I responded in thought, "Oh, dear... it did! I simply mean to say that I'm looking for a black gang member." And then I responded to myself, "I DID IT, AGAIN! It's not that all gang members are black!
...Or that all black people are gang members... It's just that the violent rapist that is targetting me just so happens to be a, like, regional supervisor of the local gang... that's all.
No racism! There are plenty of obviously good-natured black people in this neighborhood. You can tell because they don't sexually harass you in public during drunken spaz attacks!
You know what good natured people do... regardless of color??? They mind their own business unless they want friendly engagement or informative engagement or sexual engagement... that's it.
SO!!! Now that I've only seen the original rapist in question circling the house, today... I'm back to work. Because... fuck that idiot! If he attacks me... here's all you need to go get him (of course... that's if I leave any of him, behind). Thanks for being here!
SO... back to crazy stuff... no more serious for a while.
I wanted more information on the bastard squirrel. I decided to attempt to get information out of the labrador. This was the first attempt at trying an in-depth conversation with an animal other than my cat (who might be exceptionally bright with an extended english vocabulary).
The reason why was because this retriever is exceptionally bright, as well... not like the dumbass pitbull on the other side.
I'm intrigued by the squirrel... because I spoke to it in english. I did not attempt squirrel calls. I don't really do them.
Animals have shown me that, not only do they recognize human behavior patterns and exploit them as much as possible... but they've also shown me that some of them have a very decent understanding for english words.
The squirrel taunted me in the tree until I mentioned a gun for hunting rabbits. All animals seem to know what their general classification is... example: dog knows it is a dog. Cat knows it is a cat... and they know all of the dog and cat derivatives... and they know baby, honey, sugar, darlin...
The squirrels both knew I was talking to them when I called them squirrels. And, I'm pretty sure the female comes around the backyard and stays on the fence to hear me talk to her, sometimes.
When she was being attacked by that squirrel... I scared that dick up the tree higher. He was panting in fear... but he still taunted. Then I mentioned the gun and he zoomed into the other yard.
One of the crazy things I keep telling people is that the animals have a lot more information to share with us. I intend to tap into that knowledge when I acquire more capital.
...that's when people will REALLY freak out!!!