|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
My viewers know that I love my kitty! She and I have been together since I was 17. That's 13 years, together... & I've adored every year!
She is the first cat I've ever loved! It was love for an animal at first sight!!! When she tells me that she chose me... I understand what she means... because I could see in her eyes the moment she saw me... she lit up! She came straight over to me and she only gave a shit about what I thought from that moment on!
She was a present for my grandpa... but he was too old to care for such a sprightly kitty! She jumped all around the room knocking things off of shelves to get his attention! He kept getting dizzy from picking things up all the time. He asked if we take the kitty.
My mom remembered how much I loved the kitty and how the kitty kept running after me when we tried to leave me grandpa's apartment. The kitty played with me the whole time we were at my grandpa's... she quickly darted out the door when we were trying to go!
My grandpa had to hold the kitty while we left!!! She did not want to stay with my grandpa!
...So when my mom asked if I wanted the kitty... of course I said yes!!!
She's still kicking around!
Well... she was looking around the backyard, today. She saw some animals in the big tree. She got excited and the old dame went into stalk mode!!!
One of the animals was a squirrel! It noticed that she went into stalk mode! This little shit started to taunt her!
So the squirrel sees her and starts squaking at her... and making a noise similar to what many might consider a laugh. The tail was twitching in a way that made me suspect is truly was laughing at her... based solely upon dog and cat tail behavior I've seen!
Then... when Tater sat down... exiting stalk mode... The squirrel got louder!!! It started banging its paws on the tree branch, staring my kitty down... getting louder and bigger with its arm movements.
So I said to my kitty, "Do you hear that squirrel??? He says you can't get him while he's in the tree! You know what? He's right. You and I can't get him in the tree."
Tater's ears went down and she looked at the ground. The squirrel, still, kept getting more crazy. I decided to step in.
"Oh..." *turning to look at squirrel* "I think she hears YOU just fine!" *squirrel looks at me and squaks* "I'M TALKING TO YOU!!!" *squirrel gets higher in the tree and looks at me*
"Yeah, yeah... get higher in the tree. I don't want to eat you... she does. You've made your point! You're safe in the tree! But if you get face-to-face with her... she's going to eat you! So why don't you just stay away from her???"
By this time the labrador retriever from next door; that made the chihuahua bugging me last week shut up when I tore him down... and now we're friends and we greet each other when I'm out to smoke; has started to chime in... barking at the squirrel... and so has the chihuahua!!!
...I guess this squirrel is a neighborhood menace that bugs all of the neighborhood animals...
Well... that little shit is afraid of the AntiChrist! He's not going to bug my kitty anymore! She can explore the backyard when mommy is present without some bitch-ass squirrel getting on her case!
...as a final note to the squirrel... that snickered while it was heavily breathing high in the tree above me, looking down...
"You think I can't get you in that tree... lemme tell YOU something, buddy... My husband has a beebee gun! He likes to shoot rabbits with it! That sucker works on squirrels in trees... I can get you whenever I want!!! "
...and with that... the little bastard jumped out of the tree, ran along the fence and jumped into someone else's yard!!!
AND THAT'S HOW YOU DEAL WITH ASSHOLE SQUIRRELS!!!
...The same way you deal with pricks from Reddit!