|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
I should know... I spent 72 hours under observation in one, when I was seventeen.
I am here because of the migraine. My husband couldn't wait, anymore. The truck has to be turned in, today. Technically... I can stay in this freak show for a few more days... but I don't like that idea, at all.
It's just that... If I'm having trouble walking... Then it probably isn't safe for me to start a 6 hour (or longer from traffic) journey just yet.
So... smoking more weed... what else to do??? Kitty is sleeping nearby. There's nothing for her to lay on... nor me... so I seriously hope I feel safe to drive, soon.
I feel like crying... there; it started...
Depression wants, so badly to come back... I hate being a bitch... I hate being a bitch. I hate whenever I'm mean, at all...
I saw myself naked in the mirror and I looked obese... triple chin and everything. I looked at the scale... I had lost three pounds... I put on my clothes without incident. My super-tight jeans were only regular-tight.
When I looked in the mirror fully clothed... I looked the skinniest I'd ever seen myself... And don't give much shit about my weight. I never had trouble gettin' some as a fatty. I thought it was a pretty good time... MUCH more fun than being thin. Being thin is horrifying.
When you're fat; you can be a free spirit and nobody gives a shit. You tell them that school was a damn joke and you didn't need it whilst you're broker than fuck and they're sure you're nuts... of course... you actually are and admit it, openly, because it's very clear that everyone has problems.
It was like: I'm fat and I don't have stuff... but I have my babies and my kitty and my man... plus some neat people to see, sometimes. That's much better than I've ever had, before, and I have a lot to smile about!
Well now it's like: I'm skinny and I get constantly sexually harassed. I used to get hit on, respectfully, like 3 or four times a week. Now it's honking whenever I walk down the street... and men always offering me rides... and weirdos rushing to the fucking door to open it for me... the most disgusting things I've ever heard being whispered in my ear and also just loudly and openly said on stage whilst some sick comedian is eyeing me like prey--humiliating me, of course... some dudes bothering me over and over and over again--like something going to change about this 'I'm-married-and-in-love' thing... always telling me I'm sexy... always with the dic pics... and the dudes that just used to randomly chat because they felt bad for me--disappeared! Those guys HATE me, now! The same guys that used to be my buddies... I never knew it... but they hated the idea of fucking a fellow fatty! Those dudes I thought were cool because we were such buds... they were assholes the whole time... Now they hate me because they assume that they never have a shot because they think I'm a bitch and they told me so on stage over and over and they never even spoke a word to me!!!
It's like... actually... YOU'RE THE ASSHOLE, DUDE!!! I'm only not going to fuck you because I'm already in love, prick!
...and I hate them, now! Because they betrayed me! Hooking them up on dates with insecure girls! Smoking my weed! Drinking my booze! Assholes the entire time!
Why can't I get a pretty girl?
--Because you're an asshole... we have a plethora of assholes to choose from. Because you're an ugly fatty... you must be smart, kind, or rich if you want to obtain one. Obviously; you're a stupid asshole... this is why you need to make money.
Yes... when this headache is gone... I will be driving to my new city with nice people that already think my world peace plan is awesome AND they think I'll fit in!
YEAH! FUCK YOU, LOS ANGELES COUNTY!! THE FULL MILLION SQUARE MILES OF YOU IS AWFUL! I DIDN'T EVEN GET INTO THE FUCKING BITCH-CUNT WOMEN I've DEALT WITH OUT HERE... THAT'S JUST BECAUSE I WANT MY HEADACHE TO GO A-FUCKING-WAY!!!
Sacramento... suburbs... my programming... no more sex-crazed or sex-confused weirdos. Normal sex life people that are like, "I love this!" Yeah... a lot of people stay happily married for the rest of their lives because they knew the person they were with was perfect for them!
hate LA. H8. H8!!!
*angry cheek kiss* BYE!