|Emily AC: Multi-Talented Comedian||
I consider my smart phone a sexy little slut that doesn't know anything. All I get to use is my index finger one the screen or my thumbs on the slide keyboard. Thankfully, they made smart phones with a qwerty keyboard... Otherwise I would have told smart phones to suck my clitty!
I love computers. I consider computers an artsy thing. When I have a fast computer and I'm working at top speed I can have several different pages open and I can develop a rhythm to my movements. They faster I get at the rhythm, the more it looks like a fanciful dance.
I never noticed this affect on others. I didn't have a clue this was something neat until I was assistant managing at a cheap movie theater when I was a teenager. The kids sexually harassed me--running after me, one of them, and grabbing at me.
The underlings laughed at when this sonuvabitch would grab my tits and stuff. Just because I didn't want to motherfucker to touch me. I couldn't put the dickhead into agony! I could get fired! So I got the asshole kid fired.
"Will you please check the cameras from last night? Beau literally attacked me!!! I grabbed a chair to hold him off and I lost my balance and fell backward and knocked my head really hard on the wall near the floor. I was disoriented for 20 minutes afterward. He needs to be fired."
He was. But when the brats would tease me too much at work... By, basically, just not ever working... I'd blow a gasket and then start to cry. Then they'd finally start to work (see why I quit?). Once a kid told me to play minesweeper.
Little did he know my dad got me hooked on minesweeper long before that. I was a wizard at the game. I could click a box, basically, every second, or so. I didn't think it was that big of a deal. It was just practice.
The one kid said, "I don't even understand how to play that game!" So, after I beat that game... I taught the kids how I used my strategy to beat every game. I'm still good at minesweeper... but I barely ever win, anymore. I just lose extremely quickly and immediately see what I did wrong and chastise my self :) Always my harshest critic... because only I truly know what I'm capable of; no matter what anyone tries to tell me.
The next time I would understand that I had some serious computer skill was college. I first went to DCTC to study dental hygiene. Big teeth fan, over here.
When I started taking a few technicals that were required, people were astonished at just how quickly I could produce my perfect scores. Some of these people really had to study this stuff. I was glad that my mom insisted we have a computer in the house.
No matter how big of a cunt I think she is until she goes to mother fucking therapy; I am grateful forever, and always, for giving me access to a computer and the internet to let my mind go and play around with the minds of others! Friend or foe.
I switched my major to executive assisting that led to a job at ADP where the constant rumor of me for practically a year was that I could do what nobody else could on the computer when coming close to a very near deadline. In my freetime I joked around and built my rubber band ball. But also that I was weird and dense. That's autism.
Yes, my dear, sweet friends... If you need a PowerPoint presentation in an hour; I'll have a tasteful one in about half an hour to get your feedback for changes you'd like. And, no, I don't think that makes me special because I don't PowerPoint a very challenging program. Very easy to memorize.
And because my desk was in a centralized area and out in the open; when I told my bosses to have everyone LEAVE ME ALONE FOR THE NEXT HOUR; the bosses would send out alerts in manager speak to please, please disturb them with any questions, at all.
But the employees would be behind me watching and gasping and saying things, "oh my god," and "I've never seen anything like that." Every now and then someone would say something like, "How do you do that?" and I would respond like a robot, "Please don't disturb me when I'm in the zone." I'm sure it sounded rude every time.
Whatever. I had a job to do. The bosses needed me. I did whatever they asked me to do. I could tackle problems in more complicated ways than any else could. I was a "super secretary." In college the girls called me, "Supermom," because I started with 2 kids and 2 jobs and had a 20-credit semester and pulled nearly all 'A's. I scoffed, "If I were a supermom, I'd have a clean house."
Everyone other than my family noticed I was gifted besides my family. And if they noticed... they didn't think was particularly necessary to go forward with enhancing my skills. It didn't matter to me, any less. I just playing on computers and I'm sure I always will.
For me, a heavy-duty computer, with good hardward and fast speeds is like an amazing lover for my mind. I can offer encouragement and fulfillment to many people at once. I can also shock sense into people. I can blast through silly arguments and make bigoted people feel like fools (as they rightly should).
But with my intellect, speed, and purpose I will be able to influx the consciousness of everyone--including those that would do others harm. It is an illness. I mental illness. You need to go in the other direction to achieve happiness.
You need to do MORE than try to be nice. You have to actually be nice. The thing you know, for sure, would never cause trouble. And keeping it. It's weird, at first. You don't get it, right away...
That because your face doesn't match situation. You're still grumpy and that scares people. But when you keep it up; pretty soon you'll be smiling genuine smiles. That's when more people will trust you. Trust is love. You can't trust a grumpy person.
We can learn to trust all psychos if they understand that we can be trusted, too.