I'm going to attempt to control my migraine.
My main complaint over the past few days is the heat... with my husband gone... there's no one to bitch about the air conditioner. I'm wolfing down all the veggies. what more can I do? I'm weird walking down the street and I'm almost out of cash... and I need to drive to the bank! otherwise I'm stuck here all night on the floor!
I'm too pampered a fucking princess for that!!!
That won't work very well. I'm drinking more water, still. and still laying on the floor because standing makes me too dizzy.
So I'm calming as much as I can... deep, deep breaths....... let them in and out slowly. think about stars.
I don't know all the constellations... but it's funny... I pondered most of the universe in a nutshell when I was a very young child. I didn't know what theoretical physics was. I was never told about it. like the phrasing makes it seem unimportant... so I never bothered; and no one really shared...
So I thought my rambling thoughts about space were just sci-fi geek nonsense... and I rarely shared with anyone except for boyfriends and stoners. I attributed my ramblings of this nature to continued marijuana use stunting my brain... as so many always suggested to me...
I just didn't care because, at least, this train of thought was different. Not the same. I felt alone. Like I was the only one that thought this way.
I always had a love/hate relationship with studying space too much, though... the world immediately around us needs our attention, at present.
We need to account for the mess that has been created and the safest way possible in order to survive. I may not be able to deconstruct math because I get confused with numbers...
But I can still see how math works in a flowing way and I can always explain it in words.
Right now, on a graph of worldwide psychopathy... we are at an all-time high. This is because of overpopulation... of many things...
*real estate and roadworks
Whether you wish to believe it, or not, some of these things... arguably... contribute to climate change. All of these things are linked to mental illness... because all mental illnesses can lead to hoarding... of anything... including money and life.
I care about everyone. yes, everyone. I am cross with two people. it will just pass. no apologies; what for? according to past experience... I'll never, ever see any of these people, again.
I highly doubt that if I can't manage to hang out with these people even once then I'm, likely, NOT going to see them for any reason!
What's say... for sake of argument... that one of these folks that pulled any bullshit... even the shit that I went wwwaaayyy over the top with. If they demand an apology... and travel anywhere to get me... they're retarded and not getting one.
There is not one person that I've had conversation with in LA again besides random people I never learned their names, Patti Sterling, and a few people part of the movement... if they actually stay.
As I suspected... people are more willing to accept world peace from an imaginary superhero in cyberspace than from a person that they've spoken to that has shown them trust. In person.
The sad thing is... the only thing different about my antichrist character from myself is that I never would have thought to call myself the antichrist. ...And if people had never offered me money just take pictures of me... I would not have ever attempted modeling. In my life.
That's the difference. Everything else is the same. I do exaggerate everything for effect and satire; but I think this life is a fucking joke! So why not?
buy a cool shirt and support me if you wish